Quicksand
by Manigault
Summary: Post Ep TAiE


Title: Quicksand  
  
By: Manigault  
  
Disclaimer: They are so not mine. They do belong to CBS, the very cool Anthony Zuicker and all those who play them on TV.  
  
Spoiler: TAiE .season three.  
  
Warning: No beta here.Alison, you must be breathing a sigh of relief :0) This is my catharsis so be warned characters may be out of character.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Category: G/S, Angst  
  
  
  
"You deserve a life."  
  
The words echoed in Sara's mind as she sat in the witness seat, facing so many strange faces as the intensely personal moment between her and Grissom was brought into court. Gulping several times, she processed the blank statement that meant to turn something innocent into some play for attention.  
  
They continued to echo as she sat in court watching him struggle with the defense lawyer's question. Twice the question was repeated before he slammed the door on the movie star punk. She did not have time to analyze his reaction as they all slipped from the courthouse with feelings of vindication. Never before had they been ripped into as thoroughly as this lawyer had done, bringing forth their personal lives in order to cause so much doubt. Well she had succeeded as far as Sara was concerned. Entering her silent apartment she heard that voice once again, the implication that she would do anything to please Gil Grissom. She had been mortified by that lawyers suggestion of impropriety, her heart lurching as she glanced towards Gerard.her mentor's mentor.  
  
"It was dry wall dust." She repeated aloud, her voice sounding hollow in the silence that surrounded her, mocking the words that rang unbelievable even to her. 'It was personal.' She added with defiance as she peeled out of her suit and walked with purposeful strides towards the bathroom. Exposed. That was how she felt with all of those eyes staring at her with curiosity. She spun the hot and cold water knobs before reaching out with one hand to feel the water mingle into warmth before she pushed the water stop into place. Pouring some bath salts into the base, she eased into the warmth well before it had reached her knees, her eyes mesmerized by the unnatural waterfall. What had he meant exactly? 'You deserve a life.' Did he think that she did not have one at the lab? Of course he did not. Now he thought she was dating Hank, a thought that would have made her smile a year ago. But they had progressed so far in the past year and now it was teetering on the edge of ending. Gerard had dropped the bombshell with pleasure, sensing something between her and Grissom? She did not know. She did know that Grissom had been shattered in some manner that perplexed her even as it angered her with his quick acceptance.  
  
"We go to movies." She had told Gerard, although her words were directed at Grissom. 'It's not a relationship.' She repeated now as she soaked in the tub and let her eyes drift shut, her mind grasping to understand what Grissom had intended when he told her she looked nice and followed the brisk compliment with a statement that was in all regards a release of something. Her affections? She shook her head and found herself remembering his perplexed expression when the lawyer had questioned him in court. He appeared to not hear the question, requesting it be repeated, staring so hard at the persecutor as she spoke softly in his direction. Softly. Her eyes opened quickly, registering an answer to the question that had perplexed her since watching that event play out in the courtroom. The lawyer had spoken so quietly, she herself had strained to hear the question. Was it possible that Grissom had not heard it? When they left the courtroom what was it he had said to Gerard. Why had he signed to him before turning to leave? What had he signed? Intrigue made her pull out of the bath and search for her robe, so eager to seek out her questions she neglected to dry off before settling before her computer and switching it on. With a click of the button she pulled up the sign language program she had purchased months ago after that case where Grissom had revealed his knowledge of the language and evaded her question regarding it. She closed her eyes, picturing his hands move before his face as he spoke to Gerard. It did not take long for her to discover the meaning behind his hands. 'My mother says hello." Pushing back in her chair, Sara considered these words carefully. Why would.The pieces slipped into place and she stood abruptly, her mind now locked on hearing the truth from him.  
  
The phone rang five times before the answering machine picked up, his voice sounding beautiful to her ears, but her heart dropping as she left a message before she could talk herself out of it.  
  
"Hey Gris, this is Sara. Call me?"  
  
Returning the phone she wondered at her actions and declined to berate herself for making a move in what she hoped was the right direction. Pulling a brush through her hair, she stared at her reflection in the mirror, almost jumping out of her skin when the ringing of the phone sliced through the room. Hesitating for two rings she made her way over to the phone and stared at the caller id-Hank Peddigrew. Hank was the last person she wanted to talk with tonight and she quickly decided not answering the phone was the best response for now.until she could decide what direction their friendship would take. Should she continue going out with him from time to time or tell him she no longer wanted to go out on movie dates with him. At the risk of losing what she had been building with Grissom, the latter was the most attractive, however insignificant her going out with Hank was to her in regards to her relationship with Grissom. If she had a choice, all of those movies would have been shared with Grissom, the man she sometimes found herself pretending was sitting next to her as she munched on popcorn and sipped soft drinks in attempts to have a life outside of work. The answering machine clicked on and she listened as Hank asked her to give him a call. She pulled her robe tighter and turned to her refrigerator to find something to munch on as she replayed her suspicions concerning Grissom's hearing loss. There were so many little things that added up and made perfect sense to her now that she was taking the time to analyze it. The opera music turned up so loud she could hear it floating down the hallway. Those times she had brushed it off as his dedication and complete absorption in his work when he ignored her or one of the others when they asked him a question and his back was turned. Why did it take her so long to see his struggle? He had distanced himself on this latest case, standing on the sidelines before moving in at the end to pull the case together with irrefutable evidence. Pulling a bag of popcorn from her microwave, she pulled a bowl from the cabinet and was starting to empty it when her doorbell resounded with imagined urgency. She finished pouring the contents into the bowl before moving to the door to peer through the peephole. Grissom was standing on the other side of the door, his courtroom tie loose, but still hanging around his neck, both hands stuffed into the pockets of his dress pants. A worried frown creased his brow and he was turning to leave when she quickly opened the door before he could vanish leaving the whole visit to her imagination.  
  
"Hi." She gave him a slight smile, and watched as uneasiness transformed his features from worry to doubt. "You got my message?"  
  
Grissom shook his head in the negative, but his eyes lit up for a brief second before returning to wariness. "You asked me to come over?"  
  
"I asked you to call me." Sara stepped aside and motioned for him to enter her apartment, aware that it was the first time he had stepped foot inside her home. She glanced around to make sure everything was straight, knowing as she did so that it was in perfect order. All except for the bowl of popcorn sitting on her counter and the empty bag beside it. He followed her gaze and smiled.  
  
"Dinner?" He asked her with a hint of amusement.  
  
Embarrassed, she nodded slightly and waved her arm towards the counter. "Care to join me?" She picked up the bowl and motioned towards the sofa.  
  
He nodded and followed her as she made her way across the room, his mind spinning with self-doubt. He had to remove his hands from his pockets as he settled on the sofa, and reached for a handful of popcorn. His expression changing to surprised dismay as the taste registered to his senses.  
  
"It's sweet." He accused as her laughter enveloped him in its depth. "Sweet popcorn."  
  
"I like it Griss," Sara popped a kernel into her mouth and smiled back at him, her brown eyes dancing. "You don't?"  
  
Grissom did not answer as his eyes trailed from her eyes to her mouth, then lower to the gap that was forming between the two sides of her soft blue robe. He felt his mouth tighten slightly as the thought of what lay behind the furry material churned in his mind. He could not help but wonder if that guy had seen her like this. The thought clouded his mind and he found himself turning his gaze back on her lips, then returning to the soulful eyes that were staring at him with a look he had never dared to hope to see directed at him-desire. It shone in her eyes as she gazed at him, it was clear on her lips as her tongue darted out and licked the top lip slightly. He fought the urge to lean into her and taste those lips, instead he popped a mouthful of the sweet popcorn into his mouth and looked around the apartment. He sensed her dismay, but could not address it, choosing what he thought was the easier way out.  
  
"Why did you call me?" He asked, hoping to distance himself from the yearning in his heart.  
  
"Why did you come to see me?" She countered without missing a beat.  
  
Grissom frowned. Turning back to look in her eyes, he knew he could not answer that without returning to the feelings that he was trying so hard to avoid. The truth was he had left that court room today and spent the next several hours walking around the strip, stopping once to have a couple of drinks at some casino hotel before moving on and unconsciously finding himself outside her door. He could not explain it to himself, much less to Sara.  
  
"I asked you first." It was the only answer he could pull out of his numbed mind.  
  
"I was thinking about today," Sara admitted, questioning the play of emotions that had been running across Grissom's face since he had entered her apartment. "And, I was thinking specifically about what you said to Gerard when you were leaving the courtroom."  
  
Sara watched him stiffen, his mind jumping back to that confrontation in the courtroom and what had led to that confrontation. He jumped as he felt a warm hand against his thigh, his eyes darting to the steady hand that was not releasing him from the hold she was commanding on him.  
  
"You told him that your mother said hello," She signed the message with her free hand and watched his eyes widen in surprise. "I thought about that and I think that your mother was deaf."  
  
When he did not reply she leaned towards him and spoke clearly, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears. "That is why you know sign language."  
  
Grissom stared at her and felt his head spin with the significance of what she was telling him. She wanted him to confide in her and the truth was he had come here with the purpose of doing so, that was clear to him now as he watched her sign his message back to him.  
  
Relief washed over him, and he smiled, the clouds parting within his mind as he reached up with his left hand to caress her cheek.  
  
"It's a long story," He admitted to her in a soft voice.  
  
"That's okay," Sara fought to slow the fast beat of her heart. "I have all night."  
  
Fini 


End file.
